I Jinxed Myself.

Apparently I should've stayed away from this little blog because I completely jinxed myself.

Friday night, around 7pm, I went to use the restroom and much to my utter shock there was blood. Not just a little either. It was clear that I was beginning a light flow.

I walked out and just stared at E. He gave me that look of, "What happened, now??" and I told him. He obviously didn't understand until I explained that it was way, way too early. And I only had a 5 day luteal phase (again, much explanation was needed).

Now here's where my concern was coming from:

1. Pre-surgery, my cycles ranged from 30-32 days and never any shorter or longer (unless pregnant). This was only a 25 cycle, and honestly, I could handle that.
2. BUT, pre-surgery my luteal phase was ALWAYS 13 days (again, unless pregnant). In all of the months that I temped and used OPKs, it never strayed from 13 days. According to Fertility Friend, I only had a 5 DAY LUTEAL PHASE. Alarms went off and panic set in. I certainly know what a luteal phase that short means.
3. I tried to calm myself and remind myself that my body has been through a lot in the past few months, so maybe that's why and it's just a wonky cycle. But then I committed a cardinal sin - I checked out Google. It seemed as though every story I came across, the women were lucky enough to have cycles identical to how they were pre-surgery. Commence total freak out.

Luckily, I've calmed down a bit and have mostly convinced myself that it's probably just a really, really weird cycle and everything will go back to normal. But I'm still calling Dr. M. tomorrow just to chat and express my fears of Asherman's Syndrome.

And with that, I think it's clear that we will not be trying for a baby this month.

Nothing. Ever. Goes. Smoothly.

The Awkwardness of Recovery

Fair warning: I'm not holding back on this post and there will definitely be TMI. I kindly ask you to pass along if you don't want to read it.

Overall the recovery has been pretty easier than I expected. Not much bleeding at all, whoop!

My biggest issue has been constipation. Between the anesthesia, pain medication, and poor food choices (I may have eaten a burger Tuesday night, Chinese food Wednesday night, and ICE CREAM!!! last night...whoops) I've been in a lot of pain. Thankfully I had some relief today but I am still cramping a lot and have had back pain.

I've had some major anxiety about the catheter. I'm sure it's really not that big of a deal to have it, but I'm terrified of accidentally removing it. I kind of got over my fear of accidentally pulling it out while sleeping after the second night. BUT, I've had a (probably) irrational fear that while dealing with the constipation, I'd accidentally force it out. It didn't help that the visible tubing between my upper thigh and where it inserts into my body is a bit longer and looser now. Fingers crossed I didn't screw it up somehow!

My teeny tiny abdominal incision from the laparoscopy has been a bit more troublesome than anticipated. I had a laparoscopy in high school, so the incision is right along the previous incision. I was really sore Thursday and Friday and E had to help me out of bed whenever I needed to use the restroom. Thankfully by Saturday, it was starting to get better and I was managing to get out of bed on my own. Today it's significantly better.

Tomorrow I go to have the catheter removed and that brings on a whole different anxiety. I'm scared. E is planning to go back to work (of course) but we're not sure how I'm going to feel afterward so he's trying to decide if he should take a half day off. I'm going to call in the morning to find out their advice. I'm probably just being a baby.

E is seriously the BEST husband on the planet. I knew that before this weekend, but he absolutely solidified that belief. He helped me out of bed, made me food, ran to the store multiple times, got me water, cleaned the house, got the oil changed in both of our cars, took care of the little puppy, and so much more. He's great!