#4

While waiting for my clotting results to come back, I got a crazy surprise. I'm currently pregnant for the fourth time since March 2014. As I told E, there aren't many women who can say they've been pregnant four times in a year! My sister gave me the nickname "Fertile Myrtle" when we told her. Sigh.

Now we can't do any of the clotting tests again until I am not pregnant. Obviously, I hope that means that we have a LONG time until we can do that testing but only time will tell!

So far, things are going okay. Dr. M wanted to put me on vaginal progesterone suppositories but unfortunately our insurance wasn't on board. Instead, I've been taking 100mg orally every night.  I had one episode of spotting at 4w2d or 3w5d (assuming I ovulated on CD 19 like normal; we weren't trying or tracking this cycle) but it was only when I wiped and I haven't had anymore since. I'm really scared that the progesterone might be giving me false hope.

Ellen, my favorite nurse, asked how I wanted to approach this pregnancy and I decided that I wanted to do the same as the last pregnancy. Ensure that betas are doubling properly and then an early ultrasound once I hit 1,500. Here's where we're at:

2/4 (9dpo, the day I found out) at 10:45am = 10
2/6 (11dpo) at 10:00am = 34 (27.19 hours)
2/9 (14dpo) at 2:00pm = 93 (52.35 hours)
2/16 (21dpo) at 10:00 = 994 (47.98 hours)

Personally, I think they're low BUT with the exception of the 11 to 14dpo draw, they're doubling within 48 hours. My next draw will be this Friday but I won't get the results until next Monday. I feel like I'm in HELL.

I was telling my mom today that my biggest issue right now is control. I'm not a controlling person. In fact, I am extremely indecisive and would rather that everyone else make decisions for me. With that said, the last pregnancy and this one, I'm realizing that pregnancy tests are the only way for me to feel somewhat in control of what is happening. I promised E that I wouldn't test everyday like I did the last time. I've kept that promise because I'm not testing daily, but I'm certainly testing every other day and I am OBSESSING. It's so difficult when there is absolutely nothing that you can do.

When I got the call with my results this morning, I was hoping for at least 1,000 but knew that a proper double from last Monday would have been 1,116. When the nurse said 994, I was glad that we were at least close to 1,000.

We're remaining cautiously optimistic right now, but to be honest, I'm really trying not to get too attached. It's so difficult.

As for this blog, I'm hoping to continue documenting this pregnancy. After our last loss I threw out all of my pregnancy tests and deleted all of my beta levels and now I regret that. This time, I'm keeping it all right here!