Here I am.
Four failed pregnancies.
Currently not pregnant.
Actively trying to prevent pregnancy.
And today is the day that we should have welcomed our second little one to the world.
After our first pregnancy, I was so hopeful that I would be pregnant on bean #1's due date. Instead I was bleeding from my third miscarriage that had happened one week before.
Then I was hopeful that I would be pregnant for bean #2's due date. Nope. Instead our fourth little one had to be removed a week and a half ago on Friday the 13th.
I'm very, very hopeful that maybe, just maybe, I'll be pregnant for bean #3 and nugget's due dates with the same baby because that baby will be our miracle. July 4th and October 15th. I'm hopeful.
While I'm not doing anything in particular to celebrate bean #2 (well, I do plan to order a bear for nugget from Project B.E.A.R. today to sit with the three others), he/she has been and will continue to be on my mind today just like every other day.
My heart goes out to you. I haven't hit the due date for my lost Nugget - that happens in August - but I know I will be a mess. That was my first-ever pregnancy and the first day I knew something was wrong I cried so long and so hard I felt hungover the next day. Wishing you peace and strength and lots of love.
ReplyDeleteI, too, have had plenty of those cry hungover days. I pray that this pregnancy is the real deal for you guys! Passing a due date without the little one in your arms is very difficult but I feel that being pregnant with his/her brother/sister makes it worth it all.
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