We had our ultrasound Thursday morning. Right when the tech came in I started to get teary eyed and then the tears started to fall. She asked if I was okay and thankfully, Eric replied for me by saying that it's a scary experience for us because we haven't had much luck in the past. She started with an abdominal ultrasound and I knew right away there was nothing there. She asked how far along we were and then decided to do a vaginal ultrasound. When she walked out of the room, I turned to Eric and said "Game over." and started crying again.
I finally composed myself and the tech came back in to get started. It all happened fast, but right when she began, I saw a sac and I saw something in it. Then I looked closer and I could see flickering on the screen. WE HAVE A BABY WITH A HEARTBEAT. She mentioned that she saw the sac, yolk sac, fetal pole, and heartbeat. I asked if we would hear the heartbeat and she said of course. She didn't seem overly happy, though, so I asked if everything looked all right. This was the same tech that we had during the last pregnancy so she said she wanted to be completely honest so that we wouldn't have any surprises. She gave us a 50-50 chance of this pregnancy being viable because the gestational sac looked very small. I asked if the heartbeat was okay and she said yes, it was 109bpm so it had probably just recently begun beating.
We have to go back next Thursday. Hopefully the sac will have caught up but if it not, we'll see one of two things: either the sac will not have grown substantially and the pregnancy will not be viable or the heart will have stopped beating.
No one has been able to give us a whole lot of information other than the baby was measuring 6w3d (6.4mm) and the sac measured 5w2d (7mm). Of course I started researching once I got home and I really wish that I hadn't. Based on the limited research of small sac syndrome, we have a 80-94% chance of losing this baby because the difference between the sac and CRL is less than 5mm.
We're crushed. It was our first time hearing any of our babies heartbeats and it was a game changer. Of course we loved all three of our previous babies, but it almost felt like we met this baby for the first time on Thursday. We're going to be devastated if we lose him/her. We've decided to try to not dwell too much on the negative but still be realistic. As Ellen said, "Prepare for the worst but hope and pray for the best". That's what we're doing. I'm also trying to focus on showing this little one as much love as possible so that's all that he/she will have known if something bad does happen.
Now, I'll leave you with a picture of our sweet little one who we pray stays with us.
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